Male dialogue resolves unfair division of labor and brings peace to households
Laichilu Mane, 29, married and with three children lives at a Mesobe village, 35 km, south of Bahir Dar. She is a housewife. As a wife, she has gone through a number of painful experience from excessive workload to disastrous marriage from obstructed labor to stillbirth during her 14 years of her marriage time.
Traditionally women are responsible to do all house cores and assist their husbands afterward. The fate of Laichilu was not different from other women. She says, “As a woman, I had to get up early in the morning to cook food for the family, take care of the children, clean the house, and fetch water. If it is a farming season, I had to visit the field without rest to assist my husband with agricultural activities. Back from farming works, I had to fetch water, cook food for dinner and prepare things for the next day.”
Unfortunately, her partner was a drunkard and abuse her life every day. “My husband used to visit a local alcoholic drink house every day and returned intoxicated at late night. He used to beat me every day. Someone from our neighbor had to intervene to stop him,” she sadly recalls. She had no access and control over their financial income and expense. He used to consider her like a housemaid and did not care whether the family get enough food or not.
She had no experience of visiting a health center during her first pregnancy time. Hence, she had to deliver her first born at home. “I had three days painful obstructed labor at home and finally gave a stillbirth,” she sadly recalls.
World Vision through born on time project has started male engagement dialogue session in 15 districts of two Keeble each at Amhara Regional State so as to reduce the burden of women excessive workload, partner violence and other related issues that cause preterm birth. Currently, 1,050 males have taken male engagement dialogue session and are certified.
"Before sharing my wife work at home was unthinkable as culturally it was unacceptable but now, there is nothing of that kind," says Aweke, 40, Laichilu’s husband.
Aweke Marsha, 40, is Laichilu’s husband, is one of the participants of the male engagement dialogue session. He says, “Before I took male engagement dialogue session, I didn’t care about my wife health, her workload even at times of her pregnancy. I did not help her in any of her house cores nor did I have sympathy. I used to drink, beat my wife and expend extravagantly.”
After the male engagement training, Aweke’s behavior has changed gradually. He says, “Today let alone drinking, I don’t pass by the alcoholic drink house. Peace is reining my home now. I assist my wife with any of the house cores and I don’t spend anything without her consent.”
Laichilu is now the happiest woman in life. She says, “His attitude is entirely changed and repaying me for all the wrongs doings. My broken heart is now repaired. He assists me with every house cores. He makes me coffee, cooks food and does everything a woman can do. He is sharing his experience with other men to be like him. Our neighbors are amazed at his behavioral change.”
Fasika, their oldest daughter shares her mother idea. She says, “Formerly, our dad did not care about our health, schooling, and our life. He used to beat my mom every day. I used to cry for help when they fought. But now, he is concerned about our life, gives us time to play with him and share his idea with us. We are now a happy family.”
By Aklilu Kassaye