No more shame
It was a world of contrasts.
Outside, it was an enchanted land of mountains, a snaking river, dense forests and bright blue sky. For a young girl, it was the perfect place to play, to be free, to be a child.
Inside, though, Inchinkhorloo’s heart beat with fear. She expected her father home. He would likely be drunk. And there was no predicting what he’d do.
After those wild incidents, the world outside didn’t seem so enchanted, so perfect. Inchinkhorloo was shrouded with shame. The neighbours would have heard his rage, his foolishness.
Inchinkhorloo shares, “I couldn’t do anything but hide in shame.”
A MOTHER’S ANGUISH
“When we got married, he was a good looking guy. He used to come early for our date and I believed that he loved me,” says Batchimeg, Inchinkhorloo’s mother.
“After we got married, he drank. He acted wildly. He started saying bad words to me and beating me.
“He used to sell whatever good stuff we had. He sold our new clothes and new bed sheets, our iron and some other stuff what people can use.
“One day he came home drunk. As usual, he started beating me up. He broke my skull with a vodka bottle. I was sent to the hospital for 10 days to recover.
“I decided to divorce him.
“I moved out to my parents’ home. They told me to divorce him. But his parents told me to get back together with him.
“My children were little, four and six years old. My husband begged me to come back to him many times.
“I thought about it. He listens to me. When I asked him not to drink, he listened to me sometimes.
“I moved back, believing in him.”
A RE-OCCURRING SAGA
Ichinkhorloo and her mother report that the drinking didn’t end when they returned home.
“He told us lies many times saying, ‘I will give up drinking’,” Ichinkhorloo says.
But hers wasn’t the only family facing the nightmare of alcoholism.
Many of Ichinkhorloo’s friends faced similar situations.
Unemployment rate is thirty per cent in the village. Twenty per cent of the village population, 3200, drink alcoholic, youth 10 per cent and elders 10 per cent.
The children banded together. They confided in one another, consoled each other when things at home got bad, understood each other.
PARTICIPATING ‘BEST FAMILY’ CONTEST
When World Vision began working in this community in 2001, staff realized the problem alcoholism was having on children. Staff worked on a creative solution.
“World Vision initiated a campaign called ‘Best Family’. We motivate the community through trainings, discussions, meetings, interviews and competitions. We aim to help people understood that the change starts from them,” says Oyundari, World Vision’s Transformation Development Facilitator.
“In this community, we started with eight families where one or both parents were alcoholics and addicted to smoking. From December 2012 to June 1, 2013, we partnered with 10 government and non-government organizations to help them transform their communities, to advocate for families with addictions to change, to influence attitudes and to build community infrastructure. Families gathered two to three times a month during the campaign,” Oyundari explains.
POURING OUT THE VODKA
Ichinkhorloo’s father Erdenesukh was one of the programme’s participants.
The 47-year-old shares, “During the campaign, World Vision staff Oyundari and others worked hard to keep us away from drinking alcohol. I attended health trainings. I learnt the consequences of drinking. They played a video of a drunkard who was destroying his family, beating up his family; making the children and wife to suffer. I got the point.”
“And right before I gave up drinking I told to my wife and two children that, ‘I will give up drinking tomorrow. You give me a bottle of vodka. I will drink now and no more. I promised them’,” Erdenesukh says.
His wife Batchimeg didn’t believe in him. He had drank for 20 years.
Ichinkhorloo didn’t have much faith either.
“I didn’t believe him at all,” she shares.
But Erdenesukh was determined.
“I drank it [the vodka] sitting next to my house pillar. I poured it into a cup. I finished drinking it. I became drunk. I got hangover next morning. It was October 2013. I haven’t drunk since then.
“When I was hangover, I used to think that why do I make my family suffer? Even though I used to drink next day.”
His voice shakes his voice and he wipes a tear away.
“Drinking alcohol kills your physical body and destroys your family.
“If the family head doesn’t drink any alcohol, I guarantee that the family life will be better.
“I regret,” he says crying. “If I haven’t drunk, I would sent my son to university with the money I spent for alcohol. I am going to send my daughter to university for I am not drinking anymore.”
AN ENCHANTED FUTURE
Ichinkhorloo is 16-year-old today.
Her eyes sparkle as she says, “He gave up drinking. Now I believe in my father.”
Her father has noticed the changes in his family since he stopped drinking.
“Now my children come home happy and joyful for I gave up drinking. I am happy too. My wife is not angry anymore.
Ichinkhorloo’s mother smiles and shares, “I thank for World Vision for organizing these activities. Now we are living peacefully. Now he doesn’t drink any vodka, no fermented horse milk and neither soda. Thank you Oyundari [World Vision staff]!”
Her father has dreams for a brighter future for his family.
“I am going to improve my family’s life. We will herd some animals. We are going to plant,” he says.
During the Best Family campaign, Erdenesukh played a main role in building a sand volleyball field, a garden in front of the local government house as he is professional plaster worker and mason.
And Ichinkhorloo’s face is brimming as she reflects on the changes. “My father works now. We enjoy eating our meals together. I feel great and super nice. I was surprised when he gave up drinking! I shared this good news with my friends happily. I want to thank for bringing transformation in my father’s life. Continue your blessed work Taiwanese! Thank you!”