Unbearable load: The plight of a child bride

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Rani* eight months pregnant. She is pale and barely able to walk. At just 16 years old, this is her third pregnancy. 

“I feel so tired to move or walk but I have no choice. I have to work the same, sometimes twice as much, than other women in the family, otherwise I am tortured, humiliated,” she states.

Rani was forced to get married when she was just 11 years old. 

“Five years ago, while coming back from school, I heard my neighbours  gossiping at the roadside about my wedding on the very next week. I was astonished. I [did] not understand what was going to happen with me."

Before her marriage, Rani was a regular schoolgirl. She remembers that she loved studying. But, like too many others, poverty and tradition blocked her from proceeding in school.

Although it can be hard to understand for those not living in their conditions Rani's parents were trying to improve, not destroy, her future by agreeing to let her 19-year-old cousin marry her.

“My father wasted no time when his sister proposed marriage for her son with me,” Rani says.

Despite being family, there was still a hefty dowry imposed on Rani’s parents before her marriage. Her price: $1,600 USD and a gold chain – gifts that were given to the grooms’ parents.

At the wedding, Rani’s parents arranged a celebration for more than 100 guests – a party they needed to take out a $4,000 USD loan to throw. But Rani says her parents are happy. They were able to meet the groom’s family’s demands and Rani is still surviving.

In Bangladesh, dowry-related violence is common. Brides and families who are unable to meet the asking price are subjected to domestic violence or even commit suicide because of the ridicule of the family and community.

In 2013, Bangladesh reported 4,470 women were victims of dowry-related violence over a 10-month period.

The risks for child brides don’t just end after the wedding

Three days after their wedding day, Rani, at age 11, was sent to sleep with her husband.

“I was so afraid… cried a lot. I did not want to submit myself... tried to flee away... begged him... got down from the bed... But he caught me, hit me and forcefully .. .. Those nights were really terrifying and painful.”

After a moment she continues, “I cannot even express how much I felt then. I was kind of frightened and worried of his touch.”   

But it didn’t stop. As Rani moved in with her husband’s family of 12, she learned to adapt. She worked an endless series of chores – cooking, cleaning, laundry, whatever was asked.

At 13, she became pregnant for the first time.

At 13, she became pregnant for the first time. The baby was delivered at home, by an untrained midwife, but survived.

Rani says that pregnancy damaged her body. A year later she was pregnant again. This time, she miscarried during the second trimester and was admitted to the hospital for a week.

Now, at age 16, Rani is 8-months pregnant again. She’s still doing the household chores. And she’s expecting to give birth again at home – because there is no money for a hospital visit.

She says she wishes she could eat more, but her husband doesn’t earn enough at his road construction job.

“I cannot get eggs, meat or milk in a meal as my husband earns little and his contribution is less,” she says.

She can often feel an unnatural pain in her lower abdomen, which she was able to consult a doctor about, and she was told it was due to the early as well as frequent pregnancies.

Rani’s story is all too common

There is not a happy ending for Rani. She waits to give birth and continues to struggle with her life.

Because this situation is so common in Bangladesh, World Vision is partnering with the Bangladesh National Human Rights Commission. Together, we've launched a campaign to educate communities about the dangers of early marriage and early age pregnancies.

The campaign has already engaged 10,000 community leaders and children. It has been recognised by the Prime Minister and spurred a national day against child marriage.

To ensure women are able to have safe child births, World Vision is also working alongside traditional midwifes to provide them with training to improve their skills.

But there is so much more to do. 

There should be no stories like Rani’s. All girls should be able to continue in their education, instead of being forced to marry.

* Name is changed to protect identity

The Facts:

More than 230 million alive today were married before age 15.

Almost half of all child brides worldwide live in South Asia.

If there is no reduction in the practice of child marriage, up to 280 million girls alive today are at risk of becoming brides by the time they turn 18.

Girls who marry are not only denied their right to a childhood, they are often, physically and emotionally abused, socially isolated and denied opportunities for education and future employment.

It takes a world to end violence against children. It takes a world to end child marriage.

Join us as we work to end violence against children.