A safe place for scarred minds to heal
By Theodore Sam, World Vision
Just before the day’s session at World Vision’s Adolescent Friendly Space (AFS) ends, 13-year-old Abdul and his friends sing a loud and enthusiastic song. The song talks about how beautiful their country is; all its landscapes and nice things. “Most Syrian children have grown up listening to revolutionary songs. We try to change that and teach them songs… that talk about the nice things in their country,” says Ameena, coordinator of World Vision’s child friendly and adolescent friendly space in Zarqa, Jordan.
Each of the more than 100 Syrian boys and girls who come to the centre, have very disturbing stories to share. The ongoing war in Syria has scarred their bright, young restless adolescent minds, for life.
It has been almost two years now since Abdul, his three brothers and their sister fled their home in Syria. The war was getting worse and it was no longer safe for them to live there. The family travelled for three days by a vehicle to reach the border of Jordan. Then they had to walk another whole day to reach Zarqa, east of Amman. “It was extremely difficult,” recalls Abdul.
Abdul’s father, however, did not want to leave the country. Three months ago, he was killed.
“A plane bombed the place they were staying. He was severely injured and died immediately. Everything below his neck was injured,” says Abdul, who received the news from his grandparents, who had stayed in Syria because they couldn’t manage the long journey.
"I had to do all kinds of chores at the restaurant and was paid 3 Jordanian Dinars (approx. $4.25 (USD)) a day,” remembers Abdul.
Being the eldest boy in the family, Abdul started working at a local restaurant to support his family. “I had to do all kinds of chores at the restaurant and was paid 3 Jordanian Dinars (approx. $4.25 (USD)) a day,” he said. Abdul worked for five months before he was sent away because of some problems at the restaurant.
Today Abdul’s family survives primarily thanks to the help they are receiving from aid organisations.
Back home in Syria, Abdul’s father used to run a gas station, which was originally his grandfather’s. The family had a comfortable life. “We had our own house. It was a very nice house. The five of us siblings [each] had a separate room to ourselves, my parents had a room for themselves and we had another room for guests,” remembers Abdul.
Right now, the family of six can only afford to rent an old decrepit house. “It feels like if you punch the wall, the house might fall down,” says Abdul.
“I miss everything back home in Syria. Everything about my neighbourhood was nice. All my cousins, siblings and I, we used to play together around the huge pine trees near our house and later the whole family would sit and have tea together,” he added.
Coming to the World Vision’s Adolescent Friendly space, helps him keep his mind off many memories that are disturbing to him.
“Many children who come here are traumatised, scared and are usually very quiet and don’t talk much,” says Ameena.
“Many children who come here are traumatised, scared and are usually very quiet and don’t talk much,” says Ameena, the coordinator of the child friendly and adolescent friendly spaces. “Mothers used to come and complain that their children were having nightmares about the war. In fact, most mothers bring their teenagers here because they are going through a lot of trauma and depression themselves. And it is extremely stressful for them to deal with their teenagers,” adds Ameena.
The adolescent friendly space provides the much-needed psycho-social support, for dozens of Syrian and Jordanian teenagers. The sudden influx of Syrian refugees has affected the Jordanian children as well, especially in the city of Zarqa, where many of the Syrians have taken refuge and where there was already a large population of Palestinian refugees.
Teenagers, being teenagers, the Jordanian and the Syrian children don’t get along sometimes. “Here I can’t walk on the street freely like I used to around my neighbourhood, once. The children of this locality make fun of me or bother me,” says Abdul.
The Adolescent Friendly Space has been addressing this too. “To help children overcome this restlessness between themselves, we conduct a lot of group activities, problem-solving activities where they have to work together…activities that build their self-confidence,” says Ameena.
The facilitators also take them through a process of forgiveness and acceptance. “Many teenagers have a huge amount of hatred and sense of holding a grudge in their hearts,” says Ameena.
The war that has killed more than 150,000 people and has forced more than 3 million people to live as refugees has caused thousands of children, especially teenagers a lot of hurt, anger and hatred. This is probably one of the most crucial benefits for the teenagers who spend time at World Vision’s adolescent friendly space. It is very critical for children, especially adolescents to be healed. The Adolescent Friendly space gives them a place to vent their irritations, anger and hatred and move on.
World Vision and AusAid have been running the Adolescent Friendly Space in Zarqa in the Islamic Community Centre, since January 2014. This semester, more than 150 boys and girls, Jordanian and Syrian teenagers, are coming here three days a week.
As for Abdul, he is in his seventh grade. He wants to become an architect or a surgeon when he grows up. “An honest architect,” he specifies. “In Syria, there are many buildings that collapse when it rains a little heavily. I want to build beautiful and strong buildings without cheating anyone,” he says smiling. In the meantime, he would like to learn a new sport. “I really want to learn to swim,” he says, with a shy grin.
But, what Abdul wants the most, is to go back home. And we hope that when he goes back, the songs he would sing will continue to be that of the beauty of his country and not about violence.