Breaking with convention: Hem’s story
“In our village, we have a belief,” says Hem Kumari (16). “The belief is that parents who can marry their daughters off before they experience menstruation will go to heaven.”
With a belief like this, it is no wonder girls in this village, situated in the eastern part of Udayapur, are married by the time they turn 15. One of the few to take a stand against this convention, Hem is a fearless girl who has undoubtedly been through a lot.
Two years ago, her cousin, Kajal’s marriage was fixed to a man from the neighbouring Village Development Committee (VDC). At the time both Kajal and Hem were just 14.
She told her family members that the marriage should be stopped.
In spite of Hem’s protest, both families pressed on but Kajal managed to slip out of the house three days before the wedding and the groom was left without a bride on the wedding day. Given the amount of time and preparation put in by the groom’s family, they were unwilling to return without a bride, so it was suggested that Kajal’s place should be filled by Hem’s elder sister, Dipa who was also underage (17) at the time.
Having attended orientations on child protection conducted by World Vision, Hem knew the ill effects of child marriage and that it was unacceptable, even according to the law. She told her family members that the marriage should be stopped. She remembers how her grandfather had replied, “Nobody will be able to stop this marriage.”
Despite lack of support from her family members and the community, she got the support of Village Child Protection and Promotion Committee (VCPPC) members to prevent the marriage.
Now, two years later her grandfather, Hom Bahadur says, “If a girl wants a future, there doesn’t seem to be a need for forced marriage. Let them get married when they want to.”
After joining the VDC’s child club last year, Hem continues to advocate for child protection in her community. She has recently been nominated as the president of that club, a club that consists of 11 members. The club conducts various activities in the community.
Just recently it organised street dramas in four different places revolving around birth registration and child marriage. The activities have been well-received by the local community and they are more aware of the consequences of child marriage, though real change will take time.
Hem has a strong desire to see her community change in terms of child protection. “When I grow up I want to become a social worker who advocates for vulnerable children and promotes child protection,” she says.