'My daughter is not scared anymore. She’s perfect.'

Friday, April 29, 2016

Walking through the main street of Sabra, a refugee settlement nearby Shatila Palestinian refugee camp in Beirut, it’s hard to imagine how anyone can live here. A short drive away from the cosmopolitan districts of downtown Beirut, the conditions of this refugee settlement resemble an urban slum. The buildings are run-down with electric wires exposed and crisscrossing each other while children walk around barefoot on the muddy ground underneath. 

 

Eftim, 31, a Syrian refugee widow who fled to Lebanon from Homs three years ago. She says this place is much better than her previous place, an underground garage. “We had no money when we arrived so it was good to stay with family, but it wasn’t easy,” she continues. “We were living with four other families--so around 36 people in the garage -- paying USD 666 per month between us. Although the garage could fit probably close to fifteen cars, I felt [crowded].”

After 16 months, the family moved out after the neighbours’ complained that the children were too noisy. Now, the family lives in a damped and dark apartment on top of a flimsy and narrow staircase. In the background, her three children are shouting and running around trying relentlessly to get their mother’s attention. For Eftim, however, the thing that’s weighing heavily on her mind is the well-being of her children, particularly 6-year-old Ghofran. 

At first glance, Ghofran looks like any ordinary 6-year-old child. Beaming with joy, playing with her teddy bear, named Abou Oamo, it’s hard to believe that young Ghofran has seen deaths, bombings and things that no child should see. “Ghofran saw fires and missiles shooting above her head. She saw trees collapsing and everything turning into smoke and rubble. She was traumatised to the extent that when she saw an army officer [in Lebanon], she immediately thought that he was going to destroy her home,” explains Eftim.

Ghofran shyly whispers, “I was afraid of the firing sounds of guns and grenades.”

Once, someone started shooting in Sabra when Eftim was at home with Ghofran. The mother-of-four was terrified. She immediately got down on the floor and started screaming uncontrollably. Ghofran witnessed the entire thing. “Since that incident, she’s been afraid to be around people,” her mother says.

After the family moved to the current flat, Ghofran saw a psychologist for a year who helped her process and understand the memories of Syria. Under the advisement of the psychologist, Ghofran didn’t interact with any children that year. A year later, although Ghofran was doing better, but something was still missing. When she was enrolled in a catch-up school for Syrian refugees, Ghofran hated it.

One day, she received a call from a World Vision staff inviting Ghofran to take part in the Psychosocial support group for children, a group which aims to enhance children’s creativity and interpersonal skills.

“I was so pleased because it was a great opportunity for Ghofran to interact with other children,” says Eftim. “Before, she used to cry a lot, threw tantrums and complained about how she disliked everything about going to school. Ghofran used to hide when someone comes into the house. She would just sit around in the corner or get attached to me. I really wanted her to integrate more with kids.”

After attending a full cycle, which lasted for 2.5 months, Eftim noticed that Ghofran started speaking more freely about her feelings. She’s less dependent on her mum and is very keen to hang out with other children. Eftim thinks one of the biggest contributing factors to her new-found confidence is the care she’s been receiving at the centre.  “

Ghofran was told she’s beautiful all the time. She was taught the difference between right and wrong, and how everyone deserves to live and love. She was taken care of by the teachers and even I was taken back by how much they care for her! For once, I was no longer worried about Ghofran,” says Eftim.

Sitting next to Ghofran with a huge smile on her face, “Now, when she hears the sounds of gunshots or loud noises here in Sabra, she’s not as afraid. She’s perfect,” says Eftim.

“I want to go back to Syria. I’m not afraid anymore - the bombs, the escape,” adds Ghofran. “I want to see my dad. I still remember playing with my father and he used to sing to me ‘daughter, daughter, daughter’ [in Arabic]. I love him very much.”

Although Ghofran still hasn’t processed fully that her father was killed in the war, Eftim is glad that at least her daughter’s well-being is improving month-by-month.

It’s incredible listening to Ghofran’s journey as she rediscovers what it means to be a child again. While the therapist taught her how to cope with her memories of Syria, the PSS centre funded by UNICEF strengthened her ability to better cope with loud voices and more importantly, interacting with other children. So far, the programme has helped 1080 children. As the family is waiting to be resettled in either Australia or Sweden, it’s comforting to know that young Ghofran will be okay.