A Ray Of Hope
Manish, 40, is HIV positive, but he is a great example of how motivation and home-based care can work wonders. He has shattered the stereotype that being HIV positive is a death sentence, by living a normal, happy and productive life. Hailing from Alighar district of Uttar Pradesh, his destiny had been predetermined by his economic conditions. Extreme poverty confined Manish’s ability to dream big and having an abusive father made his life a living hell.
“We were extremely poor and so I couldn’t go to school. My dad was drunk all the time and used to beat my mother a lot. He took money from her for purchasing his drinks and if there was any resistance he used to beat. So we decided to leave our village and come to Delhi in search of brighter opportunities and in the hope that my dad would change,” Manish says.
Manish remembers those days fondly, when his mother did everything in her capacity to bring up her children.
She washed clothes and dishes to provide basic meals for her little ones. Manish was compelled to start working at the age of 13 in order to acquire additional income to run the household. Instead of picking a pencil to write in class, Manish picked up a broom to clean public toilets in the morning and his tender hands sifted through garbage bins in search of things that could be sold for money.
In a heavy voice he says, “At that time plots were available for one US dollar. We pleaded with my father, but all the money we saved my father spent on his addiction and gave the excuse that thieves stole it all. Then we decided to open a shop without his consent. When he got to know, he urinated outside the store, verbally abused people, fought with many and did everything in his power to shut it down. People told us that your father would leave you penniless and their predictions came true and we had to shut the shop.”
Suddenly Manish’s expression while talking about his abuse changes to reflect pain.
“My father didn’t let us progress. When I remember those days of abuse, my spirit cries. I don’t want to remember. All I can say is that I would not wish such a father for my enemies. He left us a pauper. My mother passed away soon after. I turned to drugs at the age of 15. It was hate that drove me to consume drugs.”
Resorting to drugs was Manish’s way of numbing his pain; little did Manish know that this quick fix would cost him dearly.
When on drugs, nothing else mattered to him. Unlike when he was little, Manish didn’t care what the world thought about him anymore and lived his life the way he thought was best with drugs controlling his every decision.
“I did not know that by injecting I could get a virus that I would have to live with for the rest of my life. I had no clue of what HIV was and how it could be transmitted. When I came to the drop-in centre, it is here that I was informed about HIV. Had someone told me earlier I wouldn’t have used injection drugs,” Manish says.
Internally, Manish knew that there was definitely something wrong. Dizzy spells, extreme weakness and severe diarrhoea became a regular feature. It was during the same time Manish started visiting the drop-in centre regularly and was sensitised about HIV and AIDS.
“The World Vision staff of the centre persuaded me to get tested and I was found HIV positive in 2009. Taking me for the tests, assisting me to understand my condition, they did everything for me. I am illiterate so it was nice that I had someone explain things to me. People all around me said that I would die in two months’ time, but they told me that I could live a healthy life despite the virus that had invaded my body,” Manish says with a smile on his face.
Manish is aware of the stigma attached to HIV, but according to him discrimination is only done by an ignorant and ill-informed individual, not an educated person. That is why it is important to educate all about HIV and AIDS.
An empowered Manish says, “I don’t stigmatise myself by worrying about my condition. Don’t people fall sick? Why hype up my sickness? It’s only when you focus on something all the time that it takes control of your mind and gives you stress. Why should I do that?”
After regular CD4 tests, end of 2010, Manish’s CD4 count was found to be lower than 300. According to the new Indian government regulation any, HIV positive individual with a CD4 count lower than 300 should begin ART. In 2011, Manish started his ART treatment.
Recollecting the advice given by the drop-in centre staff, Manish says, “During one of the sensitisation programmes at the centre, I was told the importance of having ART medicines at the right time. This advice helped me and now like clockwork, I stick to my strict routine for having medicines. It’s been two years and I am still alive, thanks to the support and knowledge provided by the staff of World Vision India. I love going to the centre I get to learn new things which will help me in the future.”
His sister Rani knew about Manish’s struggle with drugs and HIV.
Being the younger sister, she wanted to take care of her older brother. But it was only when Manish was comfortable with Rani pitching in that the home based care approach was introduced in the family.
“I was very worried for my brother, when we found out that he was HIV positive, but he calmed me down and educated me about this disease. The first thing he said was that it doesn’t spread by touch. World Vision volunteers and staff also sensitised my family about HIV and showed us practical ways of taking care of my brother. There is no question of segregation or discrimination in my family. He stays with me, my husband and our four children. We all eat together and live under one roof. My children love playing with their uncle. World Vision also gave us food provisions like rice, wheat and lentils. It’s nice to have people support us,” Rani says.
One of Manish’s desires is to work and leave behind whatever he owns to his sister.
“My only desire and request is to get me a small job, so that I can work and get back on my own feet because I am tired of sitting around. It is difficult for me to get a job because I am uneducated but I know one thing for sure that if I start working, this drug worm will eventually come out and die,” says Manish as he gets back to preparing an energising drink for himself at the drop-in centre.
World Vision India has given people who are HIV positive hope for the future and the empowerment to tear down the stigma attached with HIV.
* Names changed to protect identity