Think twice about giving up

“There is no space,” 21-year-old Lehlohonolo “Paul” Tseisa says.

He clears a few books from his bed, and offers it as a place to sit.

Paul’s room, far from the place he grew up, serves as his bedroom, study den, kitchen and entertainment centre. The cement walls are bare. A single window offers light.

On the back of his door are a series of quotes, Bible verses and a bit of motivational poetry that he has crafted.

“I like this one a lot,” Paul says, pointing to one of the quotes. “‘Think twice before giving up when so many are not given the chance’. Sometimes it can be really difficult here, to the extent that one can think I have to give up. But when you read that, there are so many people out there who are not given a chance and this is a blessing.”

Paul, who is a first-year university student and studying for his Bachelor of Commerce in Accounting, shares his story in this Question and Answer interview.

WV: Tell us about yourself.

LT: We are three in the family plus me and my mother. I’m not the oldest, that’s my brother. Then there’s me, my younger brother who was born in 1995 and then my small brother who was born in 2000.

WV: What was your childhood like?

LT: It was kind of good, it was such a good experience being in a family where you’re living in peace. Although we were living in poverty but because we were living in peace and that was kind of good. We were being helped by our grandparents. They were providing us with food to eat, with some clothes here and there, during the Christmas time especially. And they even financed my education while I was in primary school from 1999 to 2005, they were paying the school fees because it wasn’t expensive, it was only 180 Rand [21 US dollars] a year at that time.

WV: What does your mom do for a job?

LT: She’s not really doing anything. She’s brewing beer and she’s selling it locally. She was in a car accident. She used to sell clothes to the Republic of South Africa but she got in a car accident and that impeded her from continuing with that task.

WV: Do you remember what year that was?

LT: It was in 2008. It was the same month my grandfather died. It was a bad month.

WV: Is the money that your mom is earning enough?

LT: It’s not enough. I have to supplement it with the stipend I am getting monthly here. It’s not how it always was. My grandfather, before he died, was working in the mines and taking care of us. But then after his death, things turned upside down. But we’re still making it. The little that I get every month, it’s 1,500 Rand [177 US dollars]. I pay 400 Rand rent here – it’s expensive. With that 1,000, I budget so I can at least send 400 to my family. With the rest I buy books and trousers and food.

WV: What kind of food do you eat?

LT: I eat pap (porridge) and for breakfast I eat Mobite. It’s like a soft porridge. I can give you some, you may like it. It’s not that expensive, it helps me a lot. And I may buy beans or other small things.

WV: What about your father?

LT: Well, I can say I never knew him because they separated when I was two. He lives somewhere in our region but I couldn’t distinguish him among other men.

WV: What does the place you grew up look like?

LT: It’s not a town. It’s a farm. We’re in the mountains. And the view is amazing. I like it a lot. We are having mountains and we’re in the hills and we’re growing maize. I like the nature. It’s my type of place.

WV: How big is the nearest town?

LT: The entire population is maybe 8,000 or 10,000.

WV: Where did you go to school?

LT: I went to both primary school and high school in the same place. It’s about four kilometres away. I walked a total of eight kilometres daily.

WV: You must have done well at school to be here at university.

LT: Of course, I did massively well. From secondary school (Grade 10), I got merit, and I was the only person in my school to pass with merit. From the Cambridge exam (Grade 12), when I came to university, I got first in my class, first division per se. We were only three. I was one of the lucky individuals who made it.

WV: You must have studied hard.

LT: Yes, it was kind of difficult studying and coming from such a poverty place. But the motivation I got from that poverty was massive because I would always want to work hard to remind myself that I had to get out of this, this was not life. I must do whatever it takes so that one day I might live the life that I want. It’s true that found myself in this environment but I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in this situation. So it acted as a kind of fuel, it propelled me to do the important thing.

WV: Most people don’t realize that at a young age. How did you realise that?

LT: Most of my friends are from affluent families and they had everything that money could buy per se. I was always struggling and I would look at them and say, “One day I want my children to have this kind of life”. It’s true that I was denied that chance, but I have to change this kind of environment. I must be the initiator of the change.

WV: What do you mean that they had the things you wanted to have?

LT: Having shoes. Going to school, I would only have one pair of shoes for the entire year and when it tears off, there was stress. Where would the next shoes come from? We didn’t have books, didn’t have a pen. Sometimes the teacher would ask you to buy certain books that were prescribed and you don’t have the money. It was frustrating. You didn’t go for any occasion, even soccer games because you couldn’t finance those trips.

WV: You said that you want to live the life you want. What does that look like?

LT: The life that I want is where there will not be stress about where the next meal will come from, where I will get other clothes for winter now from, the warm clothes, it’s a stress how we look. Especially now at school, there’s stress about computers. Some people are having computers and they can do they school work but I’m always using the school computers, and sometimes there’s a long queue there. I cannot do an assignment quickly.

WV: How has the change been from coming from your rural place to this urban area?

LT: Well, it didn’t affect me a lot. I adapted quite well. It has always been the case I longed for. It’s an environment I like a lot. Now at least I’m far away from the stress from home. I’m now leading a good life.

WV: What role has World Vision played in your life?

LT: After completing my primary education in 2005, it was a stressor for how I was going to pay for high school. The fee was no longer small, it was 2,500 Rand [296 US dollars]. World Vision paid my school fees from Form A (Grade 8) to Form E (Grade 12). World Vision helped me a lot with my education.

WV: How are you paying now for your university education?

LT: I got a bursary from the National Manpower Development Secretariat. It’s a loan bursary, I have to repay it; we have to apply for it.

WV: What do you want to be when you finish?

LT: Well, I like money, I want to be a banker. At first, I wanted to be a teacher, but my teachers at school told me that teaching doesn’t pay. I really want to be in the business world.

WV: What’s been the most surprising thing about university?

LT: Here, things are very difficult. No one will tell you when to go to class. If you don’t push yourself, you’re left behind. Those lecturers, they just give you the course outline and they just give you the basics and it’s yours to dig deeper.

WV: How long do you study at night until?

LT: I study from 8 to 9, I’m at a discussion group where we’re discussing the courses we’re doing. From there, I’m studying to 12, from 9 to 12. I have 7 am classes, so at 6 I am awake. I always keep myself busy. I’m in the choir, I’m in the discussion group. I’m in the library because there is so much pressure out here. Some people may tell you that you are behaving like you are at high school, that you are too close to your parents, that you’re a child. And I tell them, “Yes, I’m still a child.“ In that other part about peer pressure, I’m always keeping myself busy, I’m not idle.