Ana fights orphanage after-effects and starts new life with World Vision’s help
"My parents...Even if they exist, I wouldn\'t care about that! I do not feel anything about them, I don\'t miss them, I don\'t think of them," said Ana*.
The young woman is 26. She knows nothing about life in a family. She has some faded memories about the day when she was abandoned; she cannot tell how old she was. Maybe these memories are just some tricks her mind is playing on her or some fantasies. Yet this does not matter. Ana strongly believes that this is her first memory, creeping in like a cold gust of wind.
I think I was staying in my mother\'s arms. It was Autumn and the wind was blowing. She put me down on the hospital stairs... I stayed in that hospital until I was 7. Then they put me in an orphanage.
"First I was put in a hospital. I know that because I woke up at some moment. I think I was staying in my mother\'s arms. It was Autumn and the wind was blowing. She put me down on the hospital stairs... I stayed in that hospital until I was 7. Then they put me in an orphanage," recalled Ana.
She was raised in a Romanian institution until the age of 18. Then Ana had to make a living on her own. When the gates of the orphanage closed behind her she started life from zero. She knew no one and she had no idea of what she could do to survive.
"They told us \'Pack the luggage and go!\'” said Ana in a stern voice. “I went downtown and stayed on a bench, in the park. I cried all day long. I was not the only one. There were seven of us - seven girls. We slept on that bench that very first night. Then a former colleague from school came and helped us enter a night asylum for elders. We stayed there for 3 weeks and then they kicked us out. We were back on the streets again."
They told us \'Pack the luggage and go! I went downtown and stayed on a bench, in the park. We slept on that bench that very first night.
Each year hundreds of Romanian teenagers find themselves in this situation. They have to find a place to live on their own, find and keep a job and finally adapt to an independent life. Nothing prepares them for this experience as their inner resources are not developed. Life in an institution does not train them to be independent.
Society treats them with indifference, as if it is no one’s fault that child abandonment is still taking place and children are raised in artificial environments. Non-governmental organisations are trying to fill this void and help teenagers make a transition towards life on their own.
Ana received such help from time-to-time during her 8 years spent outside institutions. Unfortunately this help came in a sporadic and unstructured way for her, until she met World Vision, 1 year ago. She entered ‘Youth in Transition Project’ in October 2007. She received rent payment and psychological counselling regularly.
“Ana’s emotional wounds are so deep that it might take years of therapy to release or ease her pain. She began to share her life story after a long process of counselling. For months she had been silent about that,” revealed Edit Lazslo, World Vision project co-ordinator.
“If one was to walk in Ana’s shoes for one day, what would he or she do? If today one were left alone on his own what would be his first thought? What would he do?” asked Edit rhetorically.
After leaving the orphanage Ana lived on the streets for 2 months not knowing what else she could do.
"We slept on benches, downtown, where there was light and people were passing by. We were afraid that something could happen to us. We didn\'t have anything to eat. I went and picked apples, nuts and grapes and this is what I lived on. I didn\'t accept to become a prostitute for food. Other girls did. It was the end of Summer and then the Autumn came. It started to rain and it got cold. It was awful. Can you imagine menstruating and not being clean? We had to wash ourselves in the river. It was so cold," remembered Ana.
They never thought to ask for help. They never thought they could have any rights.
"In that school (orphanage) we never ever had rights of any kind," announced Ana. She goes on telling her life story of deep trauma, emotional wound and stress. She was barely 7 or 8 years old when the conscious fight for physical survival started.
"One day, in the orphanage, one of the older boys told me to wait for him in the bathroom. I went there and I waited. I was afraid not to obey. I knew he would beat me if I didn\'t. Then another girl came and warned me. Many of the girls were raped like this. I ran and I hid in the basement. He found me there and beat me. After that he would beat me every now and then. That was the deal. I would rather accept being beaten then being raped. That school was a horrible place. I couldn\'t ever play there. They -the elder boys- wouldn\'t let us. They would do whatever they wanted with us. This is why I am like this..."
I went and picked apples, nuts and grapes and this is what I lived on. I didn\'t accept to become a prostitute for food. Other girls did.
She points to herself, showing her androgynous figure - her hair, cut short; her clothes chosen from boys’ shelves in the stores. This is what one sees when looking at Ana, an interesting looking half male-half female character, wearing a boyish grin and large, masculine gestures, her hiding pose.
"I do hide from boys. To me this life is nothing but a nightmare. I do remember what happened to me when I was a little girl...as much as I try to forget I can\'t. I would rather kill myself than let someone touch me!"
Ana has worked as a carpenter for 6 years. It was the only job offer she had and she took it. She enjoys carving and painting the fresh wood but her lower back and spine started to feel the difficulty of such an endeavour. She is the only female among males at work and she recently realised that she wants to change that. She can no longer stand her colleagues’ jokes and sexual hints. She wants to find another work place and also try something else. Being a World Vision beneficiary offers her comfort and backup, a transition time to ‘breathe’ more easily and start making changes in her life.
I do hide from boys. To me this life is nothing but a nightmare. I would rather kill myself than let someone touch me!
Since Autumn 2008, World Vision gave her the opportunity to enter a professional re-training program and become trained in retail business. Ana attempts to change those aspects of her life that she no longer finds affinity with. With World Vision’s help she started to fight orphanage after-effects and begin a whole new chapter in her life.
Since 2000, World Vision has supported more than 120 teenagers in Cluj County, north-west Romania to integrate into society through psychological and vocational counselling, financial help and finding and keeping a job.
* Name changed to protect her identity
The young woman is 26. She knows nothing about life in a family. She has some faded memories about the day when she was abandoned; she cannot tell how old she was. Maybe these memories are just some tricks her mind is playing on her or some fantasies. Yet this does not matter. Ana strongly believes that this is her first memory, creeping in like a cold gust of wind.
I think I was staying in my mother\'s arms. It was Autumn and the wind was blowing. She put me down on the hospital stairs... I stayed in that hospital until I was 7. Then they put me in an orphanage.
"First I was put in a hospital. I know that because I woke up at some moment. I think I was staying in my mother\'s arms. It was Autumn and the wind was blowing. She put me down on the hospital stairs... I stayed in that hospital until I was 7. Then they put me in an orphanage," recalled Ana.
She was raised in a Romanian institution until the age of 18. Then Ana had to make a living on her own. When the gates of the orphanage closed behind her she started life from zero. She knew no one and she had no idea of what she could do to survive.
"They told us \'Pack the luggage and go!\'” said Ana in a stern voice. “I went downtown and stayed on a bench, in the park. I cried all day long. I was not the only one. There were seven of us - seven girls. We slept on that bench that very first night. Then a former colleague from school came and helped us enter a night asylum for elders. We stayed there for 3 weeks and then they kicked us out. We were back on the streets again."
They told us \'Pack the luggage and go! I went downtown and stayed on a bench, in the park. We slept on that bench that very first night.
Each year hundreds of Romanian teenagers find themselves in this situation. They have to find a place to live on their own, find and keep a job and finally adapt to an independent life. Nothing prepares them for this experience as their inner resources are not developed. Life in an institution does not train them to be independent.
Society treats them with indifference, as if it is no one’s fault that child abandonment is still taking place and children are raised in artificial environments. Non-governmental organisations are trying to fill this void and help teenagers make a transition towards life on their own.
Ana received such help from time-to-time during her 8 years spent outside institutions. Unfortunately this help came in a sporadic and unstructured way for her, until she met World Vision, 1 year ago. She entered ‘Youth in Transition Project’ in October 2007. She received rent payment and psychological counselling regularly.
“Ana’s emotional wounds are so deep that it might take years of therapy to release or ease her pain. She began to share her life story after a long process of counselling. For months she had been silent about that,” revealed Edit Lazslo, World Vision project co-ordinator.
“If one was to walk in Ana’s shoes for one day, what would he or she do? If today one were left alone on his own what would be his first thought? What would he do?” asked Edit rhetorically.
After leaving the orphanage Ana lived on the streets for 2 months not knowing what else she could do.
"We slept on benches, downtown, where there was light and people were passing by. We were afraid that something could happen to us. We didn\'t have anything to eat. I went and picked apples, nuts and grapes and this is what I lived on. I didn\'t accept to become a prostitute for food. Other girls did. It was the end of Summer and then the Autumn came. It started to rain and it got cold. It was awful. Can you imagine menstruating and not being clean? We had to wash ourselves in the river. It was so cold," remembered Ana.
They never thought to ask for help. They never thought they could have any rights.
"In that school (orphanage) we never ever had rights of any kind," announced Ana. She goes on telling her life story of deep trauma, emotional wound and stress. She was barely 7 or 8 years old when the conscious fight for physical survival started.
"One day, in the orphanage, one of the older boys told me to wait for him in the bathroom. I went there and I waited. I was afraid not to obey. I knew he would beat me if I didn\'t. Then another girl came and warned me. Many of the girls were raped like this. I ran and I hid in the basement. He found me there and beat me. After that he would beat me every now and then. That was the deal. I would rather accept being beaten then being raped. That school was a horrible place. I couldn\'t ever play there. They -the elder boys- wouldn\'t let us. They would do whatever they wanted with us. This is why I am like this..."
I went and picked apples, nuts and grapes and this is what I lived on. I didn\'t accept to become a prostitute for food. Other girls did.
She points to herself, showing her androgynous figure - her hair, cut short; her clothes chosen from boys’ shelves in the stores. This is what one sees when looking at Ana, an interesting looking half male-half female character, wearing a boyish grin and large, masculine gestures, her hiding pose.
"I do hide from boys. To me this life is nothing but a nightmare. I do remember what happened to me when I was a little girl...as much as I try to forget I can\'t. I would rather kill myself than let someone touch me!"
Ana has worked as a carpenter for 6 years. It was the only job offer she had and she took it. She enjoys carving and painting the fresh wood but her lower back and spine started to feel the difficulty of such an endeavour. She is the only female among males at work and she recently realised that she wants to change that. She can no longer stand her colleagues’ jokes and sexual hints. She wants to find another work place and also try something else. Being a World Vision beneficiary offers her comfort and backup, a transition time to ‘breathe’ more easily and start making changes in her life.
I do hide from boys. To me this life is nothing but a nightmare. I would rather kill myself than let someone touch me!
Since Autumn 2008, World Vision gave her the opportunity to enter a professional re-training program and become trained in retail business. Ana attempts to change those aspects of her life that she no longer finds affinity with. With World Vision’s help she started to fight orphanage after-effects and begin a whole new chapter in her life.
Since 2000, World Vision has supported more than 120 teenagers in Cluj County, north-west Romania to integrate into society through psychological and vocational counselling, financial help and finding and keeping a job.
* Name changed to protect her identity
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