Parents keep baby Vasilica & do best for their children
Eva is an abandoned child herself. She was adopted by a family in the village when she was seven. Then the adoptive mother died and Eva was raised by the adoptive father and his girlfriend.
She was 16 when she got pregnant with her first child, unwed and totally unprepared to commit herself to the role of mother. The cycle of abandonment sadly continued. Her first children were conceived with different partners, during fleeting relationships.
“There is a tendency in former abandoned children, now grown-up women to abandon their children too. They lack real bonding to their mothers; some part of their soul is dried by the absence of real love and affection in the first years of their lives. I believe they need to be supported in their efforts of becoming good mothers”, says Maria Muzur, project coordinator with World Vision Romania.
There is a tendency in former abandoned children, now grown-up women to abandon their children too Since meeting Dorin, Eva has managed to keep a stable pace in her life. Together they are raising their four children, even if they are not married. The family has received support from World Vision since 2007 through food aid, clothes for the children and powdered milk for the younger children.
Dorin works as a cowherd and receives little income in return for his hard work. The family survives on his salary and the children’s State allowances, which amount to about US$120 a month.
Eva’s third pregnancy caught the couple unprepared and Eva felt very tired after giving birth to little Sidonia, born prematurely. The little girl is now two and follows her mother everywhere. She wants to be held all the time, eliciting continuous attention.
By contrast, the youngest child, eight-month-old baby Vasilica, is “good” and rarely cries. He has probably already learnt that he cannot have too much of his mother’s attention. He cannot compete with ‘Sonia’, who is “good only when she sleeps”, as the father comments with a smile on his face.
Vasilica was born prematurely, weighing less then a kilo. He stayed in the hospital for the first two months of his life, to gain weight and develop.
It was during this time that World Vision social worker Ghita Todica was alerted of the fact that Eva and Dorin intended to place Vasilica in a children’s institution – overwhelmed by their lack of resources to care for him on their own. The social worker began to counsel the parents about Vasilica’s need for love and nurture – which they could provide best, and also reassure them of World Vision’s material support.
The social worker began to counsel the parents about Vasilica’s need for love and nurture – which they could provide best “I was simply shocked when I saw Vasilica for the first time. He was incredibly small. I looked at his tiny hands – his fingers were as thin as straws… We helped the family to take him to the hospital, in Cluj, for his check up as they had no money for the transportation. They visited the ophthalmologist and a paediatric doctor for some measurements. The child was evaluated to be in good condition and we brought them back home”, says Ghita Todica.
Vasilica still looks very small for his age, with a large head on a tiny, frail body. His eyes bear a mature expression, which can take one by surprise. Vasilica is very quiet. He lies on his back in an old pushchair, unable to raise his head and can only sit up by himself if supported by pillows. Vasilica primarily sees the world from a horizontal perspective. His mother is busy with the house chores and taking care of her other children.
Vasilica drinks milk from a bottle. It looks like he is holding it for comfort rather than for nourishment. He does not look hungry, in spite of his tiny, underdeveloped body. His eyes light up with a spark whenever someone gives him attention: a smile and some words spoken with affection. In fact this is what Vasilica looks like, hungry for affection.
Eva is still learning how to show affection to her children and balance the many demands of being a mother to four children – two of whom are very dependent on her.
“I am happy that Eva and Dorin reconsidered giving up Vasilica”, continues the young social worker. “We did our best to support them to make the right decision. I am also glad that Eva opened up and started to talk and express herself. In the beginning she was just sitting there, unable to communicate. She’s doing well now!”
The family lives in a village 40km away from the city. Dorin works all day long and from early spring to late autumn he stays with the herd in the field, visiting home only once in a while. Eva raises her children almost by herself. “She looks very tired and poorly fed. It must be exhausting for her to take care of everything…” says the social worker.
All that we have best goes to the children... The couple lives in a one-room home, next to Dorin’s parents but they do not get along well. The grandparents did not support their relationship in the first place – Eva’s background as an adopted child who already had two children and abandoned them had been an issue. Then Eva felt rejected and did not want to press for a relationship with them.
“It is obvious that there is potential here, in the relationship with Dorin’s parents. They can help Eva with the children when Dorin is away working. We counselled Eva and the grandparents, trying to make the two parties collaborate for the children’s sake. Now the grandparents help with the elder children, which is a good thing. Madalina, the elder child, is a second grade student and her grandfather takes her to school”, says Ghita Todica.
In spite of their deep poverty, Eva and Dorin are trying to offer all they have to their children: “All that we have best goes to the children”, says Dorin. And it is obvious that Eva is learning to be a good mother.
Like Eva, Dorin and Vasilica, there are many other children and families who need support in order to stay together. World Vision is committed to prevent child abandonment in families at risk in the communities where it works.
Over the past year, World Vision has helped 20 families to keep and raise their babies in Aghires community, Cluj County.
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She was 16 when she got pregnant with her first child, unwed and totally unprepared to commit herself to the role of mother. The cycle of abandonment sadly continued. Her first children were conceived with different partners, during fleeting relationships.
“There is a tendency in former abandoned children, now grown-up women to abandon their children too. They lack real bonding to their mothers; some part of their soul is dried by the absence of real love and affection in the first years of their lives. I believe they need to be supported in their efforts of becoming good mothers”, says Maria Muzur, project coordinator with World Vision Romania.
There is a tendency in former abandoned children, now grown-up women to abandon their children too Since meeting Dorin, Eva has managed to keep a stable pace in her life. Together they are raising their four children, even if they are not married. The family has received support from World Vision since 2007 through food aid, clothes for the children and powdered milk for the younger children.
Dorin works as a cowherd and receives little income in return for his hard work. The family survives on his salary and the children’s State allowances, which amount to about US$120 a month.
Eva’s third pregnancy caught the couple unprepared and Eva felt very tired after giving birth to little Sidonia, born prematurely. The little girl is now two and follows her mother everywhere. She wants to be held all the time, eliciting continuous attention.
By contrast, the youngest child, eight-month-old baby Vasilica, is “good” and rarely cries. He has probably already learnt that he cannot have too much of his mother’s attention. He cannot compete with ‘Sonia’, who is “good only when she sleeps”, as the father comments with a smile on his face.
Vasilica was born prematurely, weighing less then a kilo. He stayed in the hospital for the first two months of his life, to gain weight and develop.
It was during this time that World Vision social worker Ghita Todica was alerted of the fact that Eva and Dorin intended to place Vasilica in a children’s institution – overwhelmed by their lack of resources to care for him on their own. The social worker began to counsel the parents about Vasilica’s need for love and nurture – which they could provide best, and also reassure them of World Vision’s material support.
The social worker began to counsel the parents about Vasilica’s need for love and nurture – which they could provide best “I was simply shocked when I saw Vasilica for the first time. He was incredibly small. I looked at his tiny hands – his fingers were as thin as straws… We helped the family to take him to the hospital, in Cluj, for his check up as they had no money for the transportation. They visited the ophthalmologist and a paediatric doctor for some measurements. The child was evaluated to be in good condition and we brought them back home”, says Ghita Todica.
Vasilica still looks very small for his age, with a large head on a tiny, frail body. His eyes bear a mature expression, which can take one by surprise. Vasilica is very quiet. He lies on his back in an old pushchair, unable to raise his head and can only sit up by himself if supported by pillows. Vasilica primarily sees the world from a horizontal perspective. His mother is busy with the house chores and taking care of her other children.
Vasilica drinks milk from a bottle. It looks like he is holding it for comfort rather than for nourishment. He does not look hungry, in spite of his tiny, underdeveloped body. His eyes light up with a spark whenever someone gives him attention: a smile and some words spoken with affection. In fact this is what Vasilica looks like, hungry for affection.
Eva is still learning how to show affection to her children and balance the many demands of being a mother to four children – two of whom are very dependent on her.
“I am happy that Eva and Dorin reconsidered giving up Vasilica”, continues the young social worker. “We did our best to support them to make the right decision. I am also glad that Eva opened up and started to talk and express herself. In the beginning she was just sitting there, unable to communicate. She’s doing well now!”
The family lives in a village 40km away from the city. Dorin works all day long and from early spring to late autumn he stays with the herd in the field, visiting home only once in a while. Eva raises her children almost by herself. “She looks very tired and poorly fed. It must be exhausting for her to take care of everything…” says the social worker.
All that we have best goes to the children... The couple lives in a one-room home, next to Dorin’s parents but they do not get along well. The grandparents did not support their relationship in the first place – Eva’s background as an adopted child who already had two children and abandoned them had been an issue. Then Eva felt rejected and did not want to press for a relationship with them.
“It is obvious that there is potential here, in the relationship with Dorin’s parents. They can help Eva with the children when Dorin is away working. We counselled Eva and the grandparents, trying to make the two parties collaborate for the children’s sake. Now the grandparents help with the elder children, which is a good thing. Madalina, the elder child, is a second grade student and her grandfather takes her to school”, says Ghita Todica.
In spite of their deep poverty, Eva and Dorin are trying to offer all they have to their children: “All that we have best goes to the children”, says Dorin. And it is obvious that Eva is learning to be a good mother.
Like Eva, Dorin and Vasilica, there are many other children and families who need support in order to stay together. World Vision is committed to prevent child abandonment in families at risk in the communities where it works.
Over the past year, World Vision has helped 20 families to keep and raise their babies in Aghires community, Cluj County.
-Ends-
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