Simona*: living proof deinstitutionalised young people can succeed
Simona’s story starts with an abandoned child, full of pain and anger and ends with an adult on the verge of accomplishing amazing things. It is so rare when someone robbed of his or her potential finally breaks through. Today Simona has many reasons to celebrate. She is continuing her high school education, has a job in a tailoring workshop, and since December 2010 has worked part time with World Vision.As a former resident of World Vision’s Life Skills Center, Simona knows all about the struggle of becoming like other people, of blending in, and finding a job. Six years ago she found shelter, counselling and a family at World Vision’s Life Skill Center. Today it is her turn to offer assistance to other girls, who like her have made the difficult transition out of one of Romania’s 120 or so children’s institutions, known here as ‘Placement Centers’.
She is modestly aware that the younger girls look to her for guidance. “I do hope that they can learn from what they see and hear from me; they know how I was in the past, and what I had to overcome during these years of independent life. It’s like I am the living proof that one can succeed, even if that’s not easy…”
Simona has been on her own since she was eight, when her mother placed her in an institution for children with mental disabilities. At that time her mother and father were in the process of divorce and they faced financial difficulties. Simona also says there was never a bond with her mother and that her mother didn’t love her.
In the placement center I could not count on anybody or anythingToday Simona is a smart, open young woman of 26. Inside, she is remarkably strong – having overcome many of the obstacles generated by a childhood and teenage years spent in Romania’s State institutions.
Simona has no mental disability. The choice of the orphanage was just a matter of proximity to their family home, she believes. Both Simona and her sister were first abandoned at a train station. The second time when their mother abandoned them, she did it ‘properly’ and irreversibly: she placed the girls in an ‘orphanage’.
“In the placement center each day resembled the other. I could not count on anybody or anything. I wanted someone to understand me rather than pity me”, says Simona.
The mother’s lack of interest in the girls’ future impacted negatively on their development as students. As a resident of an institution for people with mental disabilities, Simona was only able to graduate from vocational school, even though her intellectual abilities might have enabled her to do more than vocational training.
In 2010 she started her high school education. One year later, she is thriving academically and emotionally. She has already experienced a significant shift in her vision – with the desire to finish high school and dream of going to university. She has gone from wanting to ‘get by’ at school in order to get a good job, to someone who dreams of becoming a psychologist.
“I want to be able to show my mother the high school diploma and prove to her that I am an intelligent human being, not stupid as she believed...”, says Simona.
Between studies and work in the tailoring workshop, Simona works in World Vision’s newly opened Hope House for girls as a night supervisor. The young woman is the girls’ peer but also the person responsible for their safety during the night. Her role is also to provide administrative support, especially during weekends.
“They do the shopping, keep the apartment tidy, and cook together. Last Saturday Simona showed them how to cook cabbage rolls, and they were all very pleased. I believe that this new position harnesses Simona’s potential and the knowledge acquired during the years of independent life”, says Edith Laszlo, project coordinator with World Vision.
“She has become a role model for our four beneficiaries in the Hope House”, says the coordinator.
“I know that I have a responsibility towards them. We are more like friends, and my intention is to be together like a family. I don’t want them to feel that they must listen to me”, says Simona, who recognises the deep need to build trust in the girls, something that children’s psychologist Sarolta Lazar highlights when talking about children raised in institutions.
The system will never take into account the needs of an individual"The greatest problem of the institutionalised child is attachment - or failure to find a person to fulfill his basal need of trust. In every human being there is this deep need of relating with another human, which starts before the physical birth”, says Lazar, who worked in children’s institutions in Romania for almost 30 years.
There is also a natural tendency in these young adults to find freedom at all costs, regardless of the consequences. Their need is the result of the standardisation and depersonalisation of the life lived in a system.
"The system will never take into account the needs of an individual. It is the person who needs to adapt to the system, not the other way around”, says Edith Laszlo.
“The great challenge is to find the balance between the thirst for liberty and what the girls can constructively do with it. When they are given full space to explore freedom, they suddenly do not know what to do with it. They have no hobbies, no preoccupations”, she explains.
Simona’s job is not easy. She reveals the challenges of her new position, knowing now, from her experience, that things can be worked through with wisdom and patience.
All my life I’ve been dreaming to have a space that belongs to me“The girls are difficult to work with right now. They just came out of the placement center and are frustrated that they still need to follow a programme. The truth is that when you get out of the system you want to decide what you do with your time… At Hope House they do things for themselves: they meet with a psychologist; they go to a vocational training for cooks. They like these activities but they get bored very quickly. They want to do something new all the time…”.
Simona is highly motivated to work by her personal values and also by her desire of fulfilling her life-long dream, that of having a place of her own.
“I like what I do, especially knowing that the result is something valuable. I enjoy helping people. Also by having two jobs I come closer to my dream of saving money. All my life I’ve been dreaming to have a space that belongs to me”, confesses Simona, smiling with a spark of hope in her eyes.
Background info:
In 1997, Romania started the reform of its child protection system and began to place abandoned children in foster families. It also encouraged internal adoptions and the reintegration of the abandoned children in their natural families. Even though the latter solution was often unsuccessful, the number of institutionalised children has been decreasing steadily over the last decade.
The greatest challenge now is to integrate the generations of deinstitutionalised young adults that are still coming from the placement centers into the job market. They are not prepared to face the requirements and the commitment of a job. Employers are also reticent to hire them, even if the law offers them facilities.
World Vision works with 30 teenagers and young adults in North-West Romania. It offers shelter for four girls in the Hope House and also emergency help, counselling and vocational training for 26 other youth. The organisation assists them to find a job and also mediates between these young people, their employers and work mates.
*Name changed to protect her identity
She is modestly aware that the younger girls look to her for guidance. “I do hope that they can learn from what they see and hear from me; they know how I was in the past, and what I had to overcome during these years of independent life. It’s like I am the living proof that one can succeed, even if that’s not easy…”
Simona has been on her own since she was eight, when her mother placed her in an institution for children with mental disabilities. At that time her mother and father were in the process of divorce and they faced financial difficulties. Simona also says there was never a bond with her mother and that her mother didn’t love her.
In the placement center I could not count on anybody or anythingToday Simona is a smart, open young woman of 26. Inside, she is remarkably strong – having overcome many of the obstacles generated by a childhood and teenage years spent in Romania’s State institutions.
Simona has no mental disability. The choice of the orphanage was just a matter of proximity to their family home, she believes. Both Simona and her sister were first abandoned at a train station. The second time when their mother abandoned them, she did it ‘properly’ and irreversibly: she placed the girls in an ‘orphanage’.
“In the placement center each day resembled the other. I could not count on anybody or anything. I wanted someone to understand me rather than pity me”, says Simona.
The mother’s lack of interest in the girls’ future impacted negatively on their development as students. As a resident of an institution for people with mental disabilities, Simona was only able to graduate from vocational school, even though her intellectual abilities might have enabled her to do more than vocational training.
In 2010 she started her high school education. One year later, she is thriving academically and emotionally. She has already experienced a significant shift in her vision – with the desire to finish high school and dream of going to university. She has gone from wanting to ‘get by’ at school in order to get a good job, to someone who dreams of becoming a psychologist.
“I want to be able to show my mother the high school diploma and prove to her that I am an intelligent human being, not stupid as she believed...”, says Simona.
Between studies and work in the tailoring workshop, Simona works in World Vision’s newly opened Hope House for girls as a night supervisor. The young woman is the girls’ peer but also the person responsible for their safety during the night. Her role is also to provide administrative support, especially during weekends.
“They do the shopping, keep the apartment tidy, and cook together. Last Saturday Simona showed them how to cook cabbage rolls, and they were all very pleased. I believe that this new position harnesses Simona’s potential and the knowledge acquired during the years of independent life”, says Edith Laszlo, project coordinator with World Vision.
“She has become a role model for our four beneficiaries in the Hope House”, says the coordinator.
“I know that I have a responsibility towards them. We are more like friends, and my intention is to be together like a family. I don’t want them to feel that they must listen to me”, says Simona, who recognises the deep need to build trust in the girls, something that children’s psychologist Sarolta Lazar highlights when talking about children raised in institutions.
The system will never take into account the needs of an individual"The greatest problem of the institutionalised child is attachment - or failure to find a person to fulfill his basal need of trust. In every human being there is this deep need of relating with another human, which starts before the physical birth”, says Lazar, who worked in children’s institutions in Romania for almost 30 years.
There is also a natural tendency in these young adults to find freedom at all costs, regardless of the consequences. Their need is the result of the standardisation and depersonalisation of the life lived in a system.
"The system will never take into account the needs of an individual. It is the person who needs to adapt to the system, not the other way around”, says Edith Laszlo.
“The great challenge is to find the balance between the thirst for liberty and what the girls can constructively do with it. When they are given full space to explore freedom, they suddenly do not know what to do with it. They have no hobbies, no preoccupations”, she explains.
Simona’s job is not easy. She reveals the challenges of her new position, knowing now, from her experience, that things can be worked through with wisdom and patience.
All my life I’ve been dreaming to have a space that belongs to me“The girls are difficult to work with right now. They just came out of the placement center and are frustrated that they still need to follow a programme. The truth is that when you get out of the system you want to decide what you do with your time… At Hope House they do things for themselves: they meet with a psychologist; they go to a vocational training for cooks. They like these activities but they get bored very quickly. They want to do something new all the time…”.
Simona is highly motivated to work by her personal values and also by her desire of fulfilling her life-long dream, that of having a place of her own.
“I like what I do, especially knowing that the result is something valuable. I enjoy helping people. Also by having two jobs I come closer to my dream of saving money. All my life I’ve been dreaming to have a space that belongs to me”, confesses Simona, smiling with a spark of hope in her eyes.
Background info:
In 1997, Romania started the reform of its child protection system and began to place abandoned children in foster families. It also encouraged internal adoptions and the reintegration of the abandoned children in their natural families. Even though the latter solution was often unsuccessful, the number of institutionalised children has been decreasing steadily over the last decade.
The greatest challenge now is to integrate the generations of deinstitutionalised young adults that are still coming from the placement centers into the job market. They are not prepared to face the requirements and the commitment of a job. Employers are also reticent to hire them, even if the law offers them facilities.
World Vision works with 30 teenagers and young adults in North-West Romania. It offers shelter for four girls in the Hope House and also emergency help, counselling and vocational training for 26 other youth. The organisation assists them to find a job and also mediates between these young people, their employers and work mates.
*Name changed to protect her identity
Share