International Women’s Day – Helping Albanian young girls to live out their potential

 “It was the night of my 16th birthday, and just like every birthday before, it came and went beautifully. I was told that the next day someone was going to come to my house. [The man] was a friend of my father’s. [I thought he was] just coming for coffee… But, as it turned out, this was not the case. He came to request me for his son.”

These were the words that *Fatmira used to begin writing her story when she heard that World Vision wanted to hear her story and publish it.

At the age of 16, Fatmira was forced by her family to pursue an arranged marriage to a 28-year-old man she didn’t know—not uncommon in much of rural Albania, but mostly kept hidden from the rest of the world.

She spent the entire engagement process in tears, begging her parents not to make her go through with the marriage, but they wouldn’t listen to her. The man had a job in Italy and was from a well-respected family in the community. For them, the marriage would be good for her family’s reputation. Fatmira was simply a pawn in a game of social status.

Reflecting on this time, she explained, “I was too young—just seventeen! All I wanted to do was finish high school. I wasn’t interested at all in marrying him. Just one look at my face would tell you that!”

As is typical in situations like this, her fiancé imposed strict rules on her, demanding that she comply and do everything his way.

She was being held captive and she hated it. She hated him. One day, Fatmira told the man to his face that she didn’t want to go through with the engagement; she wanted to live her life according to her own desires. “That was when he began attacking me. I mean physically, not figuratively. He beat me until I was bruised all over. His parents watched and did nothing to stop him. When I went home, every part of my body would be black,” she recalls between sobs, “I told my parents, ‘I can’t do this anymore! I can die now because nothing else matters.’ And that was the end of it.”

Ending the engagement brought shame and judgment on Fatmira. Even her own family ridiculed her. This caused her to withdraw completely from those around her. Her self-esteem plummeted and she lost any hope she had had for making something of her life.

Soon after, she heard about a new organization that was accepting volunteers to do projects in the community. After one visit to the World Vision youth group, she was hooked. For the first time, she realised warm and encouraging people did exist. “There, I found support, understanding, love, [and] acceptance. It was something truly beautiful. I could have hope again. I grew personally. I realized the worth I had. [I learned] that I could still do something with my life,” She shares.

With the confidence she gained from her new relationships within the youth group and the values she was learning from their meetings and activities, Fatmira decided it was time to fight until she could fullfill her greatest desire: to go on to university. She took the required entrance exams and was accepted into the nursing program.

Fatmira’s parents had never supported her desire to continue her studies, but when they saw the new dedication with which she was living, they not only allowed her to start the program, they also let her do many other things, as long as they were through World Vision.

Today, Fatmira has completed her first year of nursing school with good grades and plans to continue until she graduates. “I hope someday to have a job, but I have another dream, too. I want to open a centre for girls who are experiencing things like I did, so I can help them through that time by telling them my story,” she says, smiling, “I will tell them that they shouldn’t just give up and give in to fear in those situations, accepting them as fate. Instead, they should always keep their heads held high, and fight, fight, fight hard to achieve their dreams.”

*Fatmira’s real name is changed in order to protect her identity.