Parenting course helps build better relationships in Romanian families
Three parents have become authorised trainers and have taught other parents how to improve their relationships with their children.
The training encourages parents to reflect over their life and the way that they interact and communicate with their children in order to discover positive and effective alternatives for the parent “role”, how to become better parents and how to develop a social support group together with other parents.
Many times we hear the children but don’t really listen to them and give an automatic answer...I learned to listen “Parents’ feedback on the impact on them and their children has already been overwhelming, with ‘communication’ featuring the most in the positive responses.
“Last April I took part in this training. This year I already taught two parents groups from Cobadin and Viisoara communes. First thing done was to explain to the parents there are two words which cannot be together in the same sentence: ‘child’ and ‘stupid’. There is just the child who needs to be helped and the parent who must know how to do it”, said Georgiana Neagu, mother of two children and authorized trainer from Cobadin commune.
Georgiana observed that parents didn’t know how to manage their children’s attitude and avoid repeating the same mistakes which their parents made with them. Being strict isn’t always the only and best response, they learnt and there are other ways of training and relating with children.
Some parents confessed to beating their children in order to correct their behaviour and many said that often they raised their voice and yelled at their children. There were parents who couldn’t control their vocabulary and bridle the hostile attitude against children. One mother used to isolate her child in order to protect him from everything that could harm him. She realised her mistake in doing this and changed the way she helped him to develop.
“We created trust and a relaxed atmosphere and assured them [parents] that the confidentiality will be guaranteed”, added Georgiana as she explained the initial shyness of some parents and their hesitance to share their personal experiences.
Parents have subsequently tried to practice at home what they have learned at the training and they are sharing successes and positive changes in their relationships with their children.
“My 12-year-old son wrote an essay for school. I cried with the paper in my hands, reading it: \'My mother in not just a friend for me, but inside my soul, she is a hero named my mom\'. I understood how proud of me he is and that he is seeing in me qualities that I didn’t believe he is capable of seeing at his age”, Georgiana shared.
My father is more understanding, calm and treats me different when I have a problem. He really listens to me and solves things more efficiently I have four children. I used to fly off the handle very quickly and reacted under the moment’s impulse. Now, I learned to calm myself. I breathe deeply and try to avoid the direct contact with the children when I am angry. After that, I am able to reflect better on the problem and find positive solutions”, shared Irina, a 39 year-old mother from Corbu commune.
The only father who took part in the training has also changed his perspective. “I don’t reject my daughter anymore or put her off, but let everything out and I find the necessary time to listen to her”, Ioan Turcu said.
His daughter is quick to agree. “Indeed, this course changed our parents. My father is more understanding, calm and treats me different when I have a problem. He really listens to me and solves things more efficiently”, said Bianca Turcu, a seventh grade pupil.
“Many times we hear the children but don’t really listen to them and give an automatic answer. I learned to listen”, said Florentina, a mother of a six-year-old girl.
“Mom is more understanding and helps me when I need it. Before, she yelled at me all the time and for this reason I refused to do what she asked me. Now, she always uses the word “please” and I always do what she asks me”, said Iulan R. a fifth grade pupil.
“Since my mother came to this parenting education training she better understands and communicates with me", said Oana Mavrichi, one sponsored girl. I think that all mothers must participate in this training”.
Organised through the Community Development Project, the training course has offered two sessions and others will follow at the request of community members.
According to the National Agency for Family Protection Romania, 2816% of the total number of domestic violence victims registered in the first semester of 2009 are children.
The training encourages parents to reflect over their life and the way that they interact and communicate with their children in order to discover positive and effective alternatives for the parent “role”, how to become better parents and how to develop a social support group together with other parents.
Many times we hear the children but don’t really listen to them and give an automatic answer...I learned to listen “Parents’ feedback on the impact on them and their children has already been overwhelming, with ‘communication’ featuring the most in the positive responses.
“Last April I took part in this training. This year I already taught two parents groups from Cobadin and Viisoara communes. First thing done was to explain to the parents there are two words which cannot be together in the same sentence: ‘child’ and ‘stupid’. There is just the child who needs to be helped and the parent who must know how to do it”, said Georgiana Neagu, mother of two children and authorized trainer from Cobadin commune.
Georgiana observed that parents didn’t know how to manage their children’s attitude and avoid repeating the same mistakes which their parents made with them. Being strict isn’t always the only and best response, they learnt and there are other ways of training and relating with children.
Some parents confessed to beating their children in order to correct their behaviour and many said that often they raised their voice and yelled at their children. There were parents who couldn’t control their vocabulary and bridle the hostile attitude against children. One mother used to isolate her child in order to protect him from everything that could harm him. She realised her mistake in doing this and changed the way she helped him to develop.
“We created trust and a relaxed atmosphere and assured them [parents] that the confidentiality will be guaranteed”, added Georgiana as she explained the initial shyness of some parents and their hesitance to share their personal experiences.
Parents have subsequently tried to practice at home what they have learned at the training and they are sharing successes and positive changes in their relationships with their children.
“My 12-year-old son wrote an essay for school. I cried with the paper in my hands, reading it: \'My mother in not just a friend for me, but inside my soul, she is a hero named my mom\'. I understood how proud of me he is and that he is seeing in me qualities that I didn’t believe he is capable of seeing at his age”, Georgiana shared.
My father is more understanding, calm and treats me different when I have a problem. He really listens to me and solves things more efficiently I have four children. I used to fly off the handle very quickly and reacted under the moment’s impulse. Now, I learned to calm myself. I breathe deeply and try to avoid the direct contact with the children when I am angry. After that, I am able to reflect better on the problem and find positive solutions”, shared Irina, a 39 year-old mother from Corbu commune.
The only father who took part in the training has also changed his perspective. “I don’t reject my daughter anymore or put her off, but let everything out and I find the necessary time to listen to her”, Ioan Turcu said.
His daughter is quick to agree. “Indeed, this course changed our parents. My father is more understanding, calm and treats me different when I have a problem. He really listens to me and solves things more efficiently”, said Bianca Turcu, a seventh grade pupil.
“Many times we hear the children but don’t really listen to them and give an automatic answer. I learned to listen”, said Florentina, a mother of a six-year-old girl.
“Mom is more understanding and helps me when I need it. Before, she yelled at me all the time and for this reason I refused to do what she asked me. Now, she always uses the word “please” and I always do what she asks me”, said Iulan R. a fifth grade pupil.
“Since my mother came to this parenting education training she better understands and communicates with me", said Oana Mavrichi, one sponsored girl. I think that all mothers must participate in this training”.
Organised through the Community Development Project, the training course has offered two sessions and others will follow at the request of community members.
According to the National Agency for Family Protection Romania, 2816% of the total number of domestic violence victims registered in the first semester of 2009 are children.
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