Romanian widow struggles to provide for children
Elena’s life has been a continuous struggle to survive for the last eight years since her husband passed away. She does everything possible to meet her family’s needs. Elena lives with her mother Petcu, and daughters Madalina, 12, and Catalina, 11, in a modest two-room house in Cumpana commune, a small village 10 km from Constanta town, southeast Romania. Her eldest daughter, Georgiana, 21, is married and has children of her own.
After her broken marriage ended in divorce, Elena was responsible for taking care of Georgiana. In 1994, she remarried a man named Gheorghe, who loved and appreciated her, as well as Georgiana and their own children, Madalina and Catalina, until his untimely death.
“We had a happy life together. Gheorghe worked hard as a fisherman and was a good man to our family. He was a good father to both our girls and to my child from my previous marriage,” remembers Elena.
Mommy, do you know that we don’t have Daddy anymore?
Gheorghe was a gentleman – he gave me a gold ring, necklace or bracelet on every special occasion like my birthday, International Women’s Day, our wedding anniversary, and for the birth of the children. I received so much jewelry from him that we were able to buy the house where I live today by selling all of the gold. Of course, Gheorghe was disappointed that I decided to exchange those precious gifts for a different investment, but we had two little babies and it was difficult to pay the rent,” she adds.
Like all bad news that comes unexpectedly, Ghoerghe’s death was a tragedy that devastated Elena and her family.
“Ghoerghe went to work on Saturday morning. He told Elena that he might be gone a couple of days and not to worry. The strange part is that Madalina, who was three and a half years old at that time, suddenly woke up from her afternoon nap and told Elena, ‘Mommy, do you know that we don’t have Daddy anymore?’ Her words seemed like a child’s nonsense, but we felt sadness in our hearts. Sunday morning, we received news that Gheorghe had drowned in the lake,” explains Petcu.
“They had bought their house in February. Gheorghe died just two months later,” she adds.
The new millennium began with a great deal of suffering in Elena’s heart. At 29 years old, she was alone with three children and without any job experience.
The new millennium began with a great deal of suffering in Elena’s heart. At 29 years old, she was alone with three children and without any job experience. Her family’s need pushed her to search for a job, which she found in a kitchen. Now she is employed in a kitchen at a resort 30 km from her village.
“The first year after Gheorghe’s death was very hard. I wasn’t used to working and being apart from my girls. But I had no other choice. My children needed food. So, I became the breadwinner and am still working in the kitchen of a restaurant five days a week. I live at the resort and go home during the weekends because my monthly salary is only 500 lei (US $200). Transportation to go home costs 13 lei each day. In 20 days, the travel expenses would cost me 260 lei (US $110), half of my monthly payment,” Elena explains. So, Elena can only hug and kiss her daughters during the weekend.
There are many household chores Elena must do during the weekend, including washing clothes and cultivating the vegetables in their small yard. Washing clothes is a truly laborious task, since Elena must fetch water from a neighborhood fountain using a pail. But its worth it to Elena, who always makes sure her girls are dressed properly.
“I dream of buying a washing machine. I would have to take a loan from a bank and pay many years for such a luxury. But that is the only possible way for me to get a washing machine,” says Elena.
The first year after Gheorghe’s death was very hard. I wasn’t used to working and being apart from my girls. But I had no other choice. My children needed food.
“I am more than thankful that I found the resources to repair the roof and to buy some cheap doors and windows. My boss sold me old windows and doors for 50 lei (US $20), which he withheld from my salary,” she adds.
Elena’s salary and the money her daughters receive from the government as a result of their father’s death is hardly enough for a decent living. Without someone to provide additional support, Elena must choose carefully how to spend the small sum. Sometimes she prioritizes new clothes for one daughter, and other times a pair of shoes for her other daughter.
“I have two wonderful children. They are understanding and never complain when I buy something for just one of them,” says Elena proudly.
“I am doing everything I can to survive, but I must confess that we live from debt to debt. World Vision helped us with school supplies and clothes, and this month Madalina received a present that brought her a lot of joy – a device for incubating and hatching chicken eggs.”
“Like always, Madalina and Catalina saved some money to surprise me with a gift: a flower and little ceramic angel figurine. They don’t let a year go by without covering me with love and affection on 8 March [International Women’s Day], trying to compensate for the absence of my husband. I have decided not to get remarried again because now, all my love is only for my gorgeous daughters,” Elena concludes.
After her broken marriage ended in divorce, Elena was responsible for taking care of Georgiana. In 1994, she remarried a man named Gheorghe, who loved and appreciated her, as well as Georgiana and their own children, Madalina and Catalina, until his untimely death.
“We had a happy life together. Gheorghe worked hard as a fisherman and was a good man to our family. He was a good father to both our girls and to my child from my previous marriage,” remembers Elena.
Mommy, do you know that we don’t have Daddy anymore?
Gheorghe was a gentleman – he gave me a gold ring, necklace or bracelet on every special occasion like my birthday, International Women’s Day, our wedding anniversary, and for the birth of the children. I received so much jewelry from him that we were able to buy the house where I live today by selling all of the gold. Of course, Gheorghe was disappointed that I decided to exchange those precious gifts for a different investment, but we had two little babies and it was difficult to pay the rent,” she adds.
Like all bad news that comes unexpectedly, Ghoerghe’s death was a tragedy that devastated Elena and her family.
“Ghoerghe went to work on Saturday morning. He told Elena that he might be gone a couple of days and not to worry. The strange part is that Madalina, who was three and a half years old at that time, suddenly woke up from her afternoon nap and told Elena, ‘Mommy, do you know that we don’t have Daddy anymore?’ Her words seemed like a child’s nonsense, but we felt sadness in our hearts. Sunday morning, we received news that Gheorghe had drowned in the lake,” explains Petcu.
“They had bought their house in February. Gheorghe died just two months later,” she adds.
The new millennium began with a great deal of suffering in Elena’s heart. At 29 years old, she was alone with three children and without any job experience.
The new millennium began with a great deal of suffering in Elena’s heart. At 29 years old, she was alone with three children and without any job experience. Her family’s need pushed her to search for a job, which she found in a kitchen. Now she is employed in a kitchen at a resort 30 km from her village.
“The first year after Gheorghe’s death was very hard. I wasn’t used to working and being apart from my girls. But I had no other choice. My children needed food. So, I became the breadwinner and am still working in the kitchen of a restaurant five days a week. I live at the resort and go home during the weekends because my monthly salary is only 500 lei (US $200). Transportation to go home costs 13 lei each day. In 20 days, the travel expenses would cost me 260 lei (US $110), half of my monthly payment,” Elena explains. So, Elena can only hug and kiss her daughters during the weekend.
There are many household chores Elena must do during the weekend, including washing clothes and cultivating the vegetables in their small yard. Washing clothes is a truly laborious task, since Elena must fetch water from a neighborhood fountain using a pail. But its worth it to Elena, who always makes sure her girls are dressed properly.
“I dream of buying a washing machine. I would have to take a loan from a bank and pay many years for such a luxury. But that is the only possible way for me to get a washing machine,” says Elena.
The first year after Gheorghe’s death was very hard. I wasn’t used to working and being apart from my girls. But I had no other choice. My children needed food.
“I am more than thankful that I found the resources to repair the roof and to buy some cheap doors and windows. My boss sold me old windows and doors for 50 lei (US $20), which he withheld from my salary,” she adds.
Elena’s salary and the money her daughters receive from the government as a result of their father’s death is hardly enough for a decent living. Without someone to provide additional support, Elena must choose carefully how to spend the small sum. Sometimes she prioritizes new clothes for one daughter, and other times a pair of shoes for her other daughter.
“I have two wonderful children. They are understanding and never complain when I buy something for just one of them,” says Elena proudly.
“I am doing everything I can to survive, but I must confess that we live from debt to debt. World Vision helped us with school supplies and clothes, and this month Madalina received a present that brought her a lot of joy – a device for incubating and hatching chicken eggs.”
“Like always, Madalina and Catalina saved some money to surprise me with a gift: a flower and little ceramic angel figurine. They don’t let a year go by without covering me with love and affection on 8 March [International Women’s Day], trying to compensate for the absence of my husband. I have decided not to get remarried again because now, all my love is only for my gorgeous daughters,” Elena concludes.
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