Close to home: Women learn what to do in situations of violence against children
A new report "Fearing Wrong" released 3 December 2014 finds that the places where people think their children are most in danger are not the ones they should be most scared about. The most dangerous place for too many children around the world is their own home.
See the report and the interactive graphic on global views of violence against children.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Word spread like wildfire. Only a few were supposed to be there, but hours before the session began, women started arriving. They strolled into the beat-up complex carrying infants and umbrellas. The threat of rain and the duties of motherhood were not going to keep them away.
“We’re very interested in this topic – women and violence,” said Annafe, a 35-year-old mother of five who was waiting for proceedings to begin.
Nearly women huddled beneath a tarpaulin acting as a makeshift roof after Typhoon Haiyan wreaked havoc on this community hall in the Philippines. Rain started pounding. A woman spoke into a mega phone.
“I’m here today to talk about sexual, physical and emotional abuse,” she told the crowd of women – many who were breastfeeding by this point. “I want you to know what to do and where you can get help if you or someone you care about find themselves in this situation.”
As she spoke about the cycle of violence, Jocelyn* nodded. She knew this all too well.
“The first time, he punched me in the eye. I was eating and my husband came home drunk. All of the sudden, he got very angry and he punched me in the face. I was so surprised. I had a big black eye. I was working in a factory at that time and the next day when I went to work, I wore sunglasses. When I took them off, my workmates were so surprised. They advised me to settle things with the village leaders. But my mother-in-law blamed me for it. So I refused to go to the village leaders to settle it. I didn’t want a broken family. I didn’t want trouble,” Jocelyn said.
Jocelyn is among an estimated 20 per cent of Filipinas have experienced violence at the hands of their partner.
“My husband wasn’t working. He was drinking, taking drugs while I sold rice cakes and my sister provided money from her job.
“When my husband was drunk, he’d push my eldest child – a boy – away, he’d punch him. Up until now that child is still traumatised. He’s easily frightened. I caught my husband cheating, I found him with another woman. We started fighting. That night he beat me with a pipe. He hit me in both of my knees. I was screaming for help but the neighbours didn’t come to help because they believed it was a family matter. After, I couldn’t walk for a week. My knees were so swollen. But that was the last straw. That’s when I knew I had to do something. I got a restraining order. I left. And I had my sister take the children and hide them.”
Eventually, Jocelyn and her husband’s marriage ended.
In her new home, where she once again reunited with her two children, she’s been able to start over. “If I didn’t leave, I think I might be dead,” she said.
“Women should take a stand against violence. Children should be taken away from abusers so they can grow up peacefully.”
For women like Mary Grace Talibao, a mother of four, the information about what to do in this type of situations is important.
“I will share this information with everyone. They should know what to do and do what’s right,” she said.
The event was one of the many sessions teaching pregnant women and women with children under the age of 5 how to cope in the wake of an emergency such as a situation of violence.
* Name changed to protect identity