“I chose peace over comfort.” – Hayat’s Story

“My name is Hayat*, I’m 34 years old and the mother of six children. My eldest daughter is 17. I was only 16 when I was married off  and pulled out of school and placed into a life I was far too young to understand.

I was doing well in school and loved learning, but life at home was difficult. My father worked in the air force, while my mother supported the family by selling milk and soap. We wore the same clothes for years. Still, I held on to hope until my brother wanted to marry a girl whose family demanded an “exchange marriage.” They wouldn’t give her away unless they received another girl in return. That girl was me.

As the eldest daughter with six older brothers and a younger sister and a brother, I became the sacrifice. I was just finishing sixth grade, about to enter secondary school. I begged to stay in school, but my brother and in-laws refused. I had no choice.

At 16, I married and moved from Mosul to a village. Life with a large extended family was difficult. I was divorced once, then returned to my husband after a few months. Whenever I fled to my parents, my brother would take me back.  Even in my parents’ home, I constantly worried about my daughter, who had stayed with my in-laws. 

At my lowest point, I attempted suicide. I drank gas and was unconscious in hospital for several days. I never told my parents. I couldn’t.

That was the moment I decided I needed change. My husband and I built a mud house with our own hands. It had no windows, no electricity, no toilets, just two small rooms and a lantern. Later, my uncle helped us install electricity. My mother gave me her old sewing machine, telling me to use it to make clothes for my children.

My husband works as a daily labourer, but work is unreliable especially in winter. There were times I almost gave up. But then I met Eileen, from the organisation. 

She became like a guardian to me. I could speak freely to her. When she saw how we were living, I said, “This is our life. My husband has nothing, but still, he tries.” She helped me through emotional support, case management, and financial assistance. Thanks to World Vision Iraq, I was able to buy an oven, sink, water heater, and proper plumbing. Now, we no longer have to wash dishes outside or in the same place we bathe.

My in-laws had a big, modern house, but I chose the mud house because I needed peace of mind. Once, I found a scorpion under my son’s pillow, but even then, I stayed. Even when it rains, I thank God. Peace matters more than comfort.

During the 2014 conflict, we were trapped indoors. I supported the family by sewing clothes while my children survived on onions and bread. I sent them out in the evenings to collect firewood. That’s how we endured.

Sometimes, my husband and I still argue. With growing children and limited income, the stress is constant. But when I speak to Eileen, I feel like myself again, like I have a voice. The children run to the door shouting, “Eileen is coming!” She is like medicine to me. I’m lucky my husband allows me to speak with her as many women in our community aren’t so fortunate.

Marriage is my greatest regret. I didn’t understand what it meant. I thought only of the white dress. If I could go back, I’d stay in school and never marry so young. I won’t let my daughter repeat my mistake.

Now, I feel stronger. My daughter tells me, “Mum, you’re not like before.” I’ve gained confidence. I painted our home and bought curtains. I worked hard. I did it all myself. This year, my life changed.

In the future, I hope to see my daughter married properly, with dignity and choice. I hope to build a real home,  not just out of bricks, but out of peace, respect, and resilience.

If a woman isn’t strong, she can’t survive here. You have to fight. You have to resist. And above all, you have to keep going.”

Hayat was part of the “Violence Against Women” project implemented by World Vision Iraq, with support from World Vision US. Eileen, a World Vision staff member, held psychosocial sessions for her and the two formed a strong bond of appreciation and created a journey towards empowerment. 

This project aimed to empower women and youth through a comprehensive approach centered on Equality and Social Inclusion. Key components included protection, advocacy, and economic empowerment.

The project also featured awareness campaigns as part of the 16 Days of Activism to promote gender equality. Additional campaigns focused on the importance of women’s economic empowerment. A charity market was organized for women entrepreneurs to showcase and sell their products. The event also included an awareness session emphasizing the value of women’s economic participation.

To promote social change at the community level, dialogue sessions were held with community and faith leaders. These sessions addressed topics such as equality, domestic violence, and the importance of referral pathways for survivors of violence.

Furthermore, 33 schoolteachers from Al-Hamdaniya district and surrounding villages received specialized training. The sessions covered essential topics such as equality, domestic violence, and referral mechanisms. Teachers were trained to recognize early signs of abuse, assess and document cases, and refer survivors to the appropriate services. The training highlighted the roles of legal aid, psychosocial support, and healthcare providers within the referral system.

Through its integrated approach, the project reached approximately 4,710 individuals — including 1,077 men, 2,035 women, 736 boys, and 862 girls — fostering greater awareness and community engagement in the fight against violence.