Agents of Change: A Couple’s Journey from Conflict to Peace

In the quiet, rolling hills of Kapsaina village in Kenya's Elgeyo Marakwet County, lives a couple, Dominic Kimutai and Monica Chepkogei, whose story of transformation offers more than just hope but also proof that healing from conflict is possible.

A few years ago, Dominic and Monica’s home told a different story, a story all too familiar in many households, weighed down by unspoken pain. Dominic battled alcohol addiction and withheld information about his finances. Monica silently carried the burden of feeding and caring for the family and often resorted to secretly selling maize from the barn just to feed their children. Their marriage was riddled with mistrust, conflict and isolation.

“I used to come home late, drunk, and avoid my wife. I even waited until she was asleep before coming home,” Dominic recalls. “We had constant conflict. I would lie about my salary, hide money, and she didn’t even know my mobile money (MPESA) pin.”

Monica's memories are no less painful. “I used to sleep on the table just to avoid the smell of alcohol. Some nights I would cry while he slept in his muddy clothes. At times I would hide and lock the door because I was too ashamed to let anyone see him drunk.”

The year 2023, marked a turning point in their lives. Monica, a lead farmer implementing the Farmer Managed Natural Regeneration (FMNR) approach, was selected to attend the Gender Inclusive Financial Literacy Training (GIFT) together with her husband, under World Vision’s Central Rift Farmer Managed Natural Regeneration Scale-Up Project (CRIFSUP), funded by the Australian NGO Cooperation Program (ANCP).

The training focused on joint financial decision-making, budgeting, and communication. It transformed not just how money was handled in the home, but how love and respect were shared.

“That training changed everything,” says Dominic. “Now we budget for our finances together. There’s transparency. I even gave her my MPESA pin, and we make every decision as a team. I no longer go alone to collect my salary; she comes with me.”

The changes went far beyond finances. Dominic quit drinking alcohol, began attending church, and found peace within his home. Monica, found a new companion in him, one who helps with chores, welcomes guests with joy and whom she can walk with to church, unlike before.

“There was a day I came home from a funeral,” Monica shares with a smile. “He had prepared a hot bath for me and cooked. I praised God. That’s how much he has changed.”

Their newfound unity has had a ripple effect. Their two sons, whose education had stalled, are now both in college, not because of a sudden surge of money, but because of intentional budgeting and shared planning. The couple brings together their resources, from Dominic’s salary and Monica’s savings from the Savings for Transformation (S4T) group, and prioritizes what matters most.

“Before, I wasted money on drinking and entertaining friends,” Dominic reflects. “Now, we channel everything into the family. Our priorities changed. I am normally excited to come and eat from home. My wife is a great cook.”

Breaking cultural norms hasn't been easy. In their community, it is rare to see husbands and wives walking or working together, let alone budgeting or cooking side by side. Some men mocked Dominic, saying he had been "bewitched" by his wife.

“I used to fear what people would say if they constantly saw me together with my wife. But now, I don’t care,” Dominic says firmly, “We’ve been trained, empowered, our mindsets have changed and our lives are better. That’s what matters.” 

Today, Dominic and Monica are agents of change. Dominic’s brother and his wife have started adopting similar practices, inspired by the peace and unity they now see in the once-struggling household.

Monica says, “I used to hide from visitors because of shame. Now, I’m proud of our home. I even invite neighbours over for tea. There’s more love, more laughter, and even our children are more active in church.”

The couple credits their transformation to the GIFT training and the support of World Vision.

“If I could repay them, I don’t know how,” Monica says, eyes glistening with gratitude, “World Vision brought us blessings.”

Dominic adds, “We were headed to a dark place, but now we are light to others. I want to share our story and be a role model. I thank God and World Vision for changing our lives.”

By Hellen Owuor, Communications Specialist (CRIFSUP), World Vision Kenya